Yesterday, someone close to our family made a comment about Son 2's worsening verbal and physical aggression. Her suggestion was that just because he had autism doesn't mean that he doesn't need a good spanking. This is paraphrasing, because it was said to DH, not me. If this comment had come from a stranger (or someone else whose path I would cross infrequently), I would have simply returned fire and forgotten about it. But this is someone who I am in contact with several times a week. I knew if I didn't address it, I would just keep stewing over it and it would cause hard feelings between us, which is the last thing I wanted. In an effort to be diplomatic, I found an appropriate article online that discussed general autism myths vs. facts and taped a copy to her front door. She called me an hour later, we had a really lovely chat, and all is forgiven.
As you might have guessed, one of the myths was that kids with autism just need more discipline, including a swat on the rear. I am not a fan of spanking for ANY child. All the research out there tells us that positive behavioral supports are more effective for shaping the behavior of all children, which is why punitive based school-wide behavior systems drive me crazy, but I digress. A huge part of autism is difficulty understanding the behavior of other people, particulary in response to their own behaviors. Many of our kiddos (including Son 2) would not understand why he was being punished. He would just be afraid of me. After spending the first 3.5 years of his life getting him to trust me, I would never purposely shake his trust in me. Furthermore, if I were to spank him, what else would he likely learn?? That is is A-OK to hit when you are angry! Ummm...NO! That is not OK for ANYONE!
